Saturday, January 7, 2023

 hey guys welcome to the four post bed I'm filled with joy today because um my inbox has been inundated with people wanting me to stick needles in them how exciting really really exciting now the thing with hand poke tattoos is they're very very gentle and you're actually not really putting the needle in very deeply at all and that's why it's such a pleasure to have one the whole experience of you know becoming intimate with an artist who is creating something beautiful that will last for years on your flesh is really a very special a special time and already I feel with the 30 inquiries that I had in my inbox this morning that I've sort of bonded with each of them but now I have to do the sort of business admin side things you know the I've got to work out well I've got to order my PDQ machine for example can I don't know if you can hear Romeo purring he's right by the mic my PDQ machine um some uh some other things I mean things with hand-poked tattoos is there isn't a lot of equipment for the actual tattoo of lots of sterilizing stuff but that's about it it's not nearly as invasive as a machine the machine really rips up your skin and causes it actually causes so much damage and as you probably know if you follow these broadcasts my last tattoo was absolutely appalling went far too deep and I'm really scarred by it go on then off you go go on he's going to jump over the mic as usual oh oh for goodness sake so um there we go sorry about that now I've had to the tattoos that I've done on myself have been quite big probably about three inches three to four inches but a small tattoo is what it says a small tattoo and and that would be about one inch square so today I'm working on what sort of tattoos I can do now I can do somebody's asked for a horse and then somebody asked can I do ashes in the tattoo and I didn't understand what they meant because I haven't come across them before but I thought they meant how do I thought what a like a pile of Ashes with their it was for their pet I thought a pile of Ashes with a capped head on top of it or something I thought that's a bit weird and I said can you send a picture she sent a picture and it's the actual ashes of the animal after they've been cremated in the tattoo ink so I said well I need to go and check if that's legal and it's not legal but if you send it off to a company there's a company in the UK I think there's one in America several and they create the ink for you so black well I'm only doing black tattoos to start with I'm going to Branch out to color later on um but I'm doing black to start with um so for example a paw print you'd send off it costs about 150 pounds and this company put you only need a very tiny amount of the ashes they put it in the ink for you in a sterile environment they create a sterile product and all sealed and everything and then that is sent directly to your tattoo studio so the chain of um not command but you know what I mean the supply chain hasn't been interrupted goes straight from the supply to the tattooist who is licensed because the reason we're licensed you see is is really not for the act of doing so much as for the sterilizing that's what's really really important the sterile environment with all the you know the protocol for keeping things sanitary very very important so now I know that I can do that I can offer that service um and people can can order the ink form for themselves and have it sent directly to me and then I'll give them the ink afterwards and it's up to them what they do with it after that point so yeah thrilled absolutely thrilled with the response and absolutely gagging now I did my eyebrows a couple of days ago and now I did them on Friday I think and I've recovered from booze and chocolate and I'm feeling you know quite detoxed already because I had my wonderful detox diet yesterday I fasted for about 12 13 hours and then I've had um my yogurt thank goodness and my veggie slops in the slow cooker I made a huge veggie slot meal and I've increased my carbs a bit because I I don't think I was getting question off carbs and that was affecting my metabolism a little bit so I've just increased those with some quinoa some pearl barley things like that and yeah I've got a whole a whole vat of Veggie slops for this week so by the end of the week I'm going to feel fit and wonderful again it's really interesting actually that all the chocolate and all the alcohol really um played Havoc with my desire to tattoo myself it's really strange I mean I've got three tattoos now that I've done they're quite big ones but I just couldn't bring myself for some reason but it's because it hurts a little and doing something that you're you know is going to hurt even though you know you want it is is rather it's it causes a strange strange sort of anxiety in your head for me anyway um but I'm absolutely on board again now and I'm absolutely desperate to stick needles in myself to build my portfolio over the next Fortnight so two weeks of self tattooing two weeks of getting my price list up and two weeks of finishing off my equipment list Etc and little adverts around the place and what have you and then I'm just going to throw myself into it throw myself in get this portfolio of wonderful work ready and up and I I feel quite sure that once people see what my work is what it involves I mean I showed lots of people it last night and they all want an appointment so you know obviously it's working already um so you're absolutely thrilling so just booking my days now I'll let you know although probably won't you know most of my podcast audience are in America unless you want to fly over Darlings which you know you could do actually I mean I'd love to be so good that people traveled to get a tattoo I mean there's a hotel in town there are there's a Lovely Hotel actually by the tattoo studio called the alpha Bank beautiful sort of boutique-ish old sort of old style Boutique I would say so you could book in there for a holiday and come and have a tattoo with me that'd be rather swell wouldn't it that'd be great um so I don't suppose I'm going to get much music done um certainly not today I'm going to pop out to see mum check she's okay and uh we're going to go to a charity shop I don't know why but she's having sort of um uh a cold turkey because she hasn't been to a charity shop in about Fortnight so so we're going to go and do that and uh then I'll get on with life as a tattooist of course so there we go that's the quick update now listen my tick tock I push up all my ideas for tattoos but they're they're not real they're done by an AI so I I have an idea for um one of my tattoos that I really like the idea of and then I put that into my Ai and I come up with all these things and they're very flamboyant and they're very over the top and I'm that's probably not what I'm going to be doing at all so I do need to get more um uh kind of smaller really hand poke ones done and I'll be looking around at those today to see if I can find anything for a bit of inspiration I'm looking to do a portrait but a very small portrait because they look like newsprint when they're hand poked they're rather exciting just doctors you see just dots dots dots and that's the same if you think about it as a newspaper image isn't it it's created with these dots so you get this feel of newsprint about the the image when it's finished which is rather interesting so I could do you know headlines from newspapers and things like that to be rather good I thought so there we go updates just a short broadcast today I'll do a free ringtone later um probably later on this afternoon and oh actually do you know what I haven't told you about my eyebrows I did my eyebrows on Friday and it was the hardest thing I've ever done because you you haven't got any gravity to help you so the ink isn't holding on the needle so it was a total nightmare actually and I might do them by hand with a um a hand poke tool instead of the machine the machine just upside down was no good at all so that was the first thing however they are the most wonderful shape and I I will say that I look bloody gorgeous with them and I'm really really chuffed but I'm probably going to have to go over them again but when you book with me for your eyebrows Darlings you have two appointments okay so your first appointment is the basic tattoo I go over three times three or four times to get the ink in and then we wait four to six weeks because what happens is the eyebrow scabs over and it becomes very very dark and that's a bit disconcerting as you look in the mirror you think those are too dark and then you wait your the scab falls off and something called ghosting occurs where it all disappears and you think well that hasn't worked but you have to wait the six weeks and because then the tattoo comes up again and that's what you're going to be left with for four or five years do you see what I mean I mean within 18 months they might feed a little bit and you can have a little top up but it's the second appointment that does a sort of recover if you like if there are any spaces or any bits that need needing neatening off because the skin is an organ that has a mind of its own and it does strange things an older skin particularly has a mind of its own it does all sorts of strange things um I mean I was snagging on my eyebrows because the Skin's so tough you know it was catching the needle incredible I thought God that's like a bone you know I suppose it is quite a bony area anyway um I'm not doing any um photographs because it's bad business I'm afraid at the moment you're only going to see them when they're perfect I mean I might do some uh during shots I did some straight after shots but I'm not putting them up yet um because at the moment they're quite um they're very peely and you know they're not looking their best so but I'm absolutely thrilled with them I will say that it's absolutely wonderful to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and be instantly recognizable as a human and not an alien because I haven't had eyebrows for 20 30 40 years not a single eyebrow interesting isn't it I pulled them all out due to nerves when I was a teen right that's it I will speak to you a non remember to go to my website Telltale Club tale Dash tele.club or Telltale club they're both mine and you can also pop along to my Tick Tock which is I serverlan which is my um my internet um sort of persona I serve around and that's my Alter Ego if you like so you can look at what I serve and gets up to on tick tock